Why don’t you start a Face It for women?
This is a question I get asked almost every time we are out talking about the work of Face It. My standard answer is: “I think someone should start a Face It for women…it just isn’t going to be me.” I launched Face It with Bill for the simple reason that we know men — more so than women, generally speaking — are so unwilling to come forth and seek help for their struggles. We know that when it comes to seeking help for health-related — and certainly for mental health related issues — men simply aren’t buying what the professionals are selling. Now, of course this isn’t to say that therapy shouldn’t be part of a man’s recovery from depression, but for too many men this approach just doesn’t fit for them.
Face It Is Not Therapy
It has been suggested to me on more than one occasion that what Face It does is “not therapy.” At other times the notion of Face It has been dismissed as not really a way to help men with depression, since it’s not therapy. In response to the first assertion that Face It is “not therapy,” I am 100% in agreement. In fact, in some ways, we have crafted Face It to be a 180 from traditional therapy. Our men’s groups serve meals, they sometimes involve talk of the game or other issues about the realities of life — like a broken down car or a late mortgage payment. We gather men to talk about depression in places such as Perkins, a Twins game, the deck of a pontoon while fishing, a golf course, a softball field — heck, even at times in a bar with music blaring. The point is that wherever a man is willing to talk about his struggles with depression, that is probably a place Face It wants to be. Traditional therapy doesn’t do this.
But, Face It Works For Men
When it comes to the second assertion, that what Face It does is not helpful because it’s not therapy, let me give you a couple of quotes from the men who have walked through the doors of Face It with regard to what Face It has meant to them:
“Without Face It, I think I would still be alone in my fight against depression.”
“Face It has fundamentally changed me from a negative person to a much happier one.”
And, perhaps the one that has meant the most to all of us at Face It:
“Face It saved my life.”
Because I see the positive effects Face It has on men, I feel really strongly that Face It is an effective way to combat depression in men.
Men Need Another Option
So, to answer the original question of “Why no Face It for women?”, it’s because I knew men needed an alternative to therapy — whereas women tend to already be using the available options out there. I knew that men specifically needed a place where they could go be with other men to talk about their problems and I knew this place might have to occur in many places, like a boat, or a golf course, or even a bar. I knew that for many men, sitting with someone in a one-on-one, traditional therapy setting for 50 minutes is just too uncomfortable. Yet, they really need help. In short, I didn’t create Face It to exclude women, I created Face It to open new doors for men with depression.