Change can be slow and painful
The pain and suffering of depression is immense and often unbearable. In an effort to make this pain go away men often turn to alcohol, porn, gambling, affairs, or other destructive behaviors. These activities only serve to cause additional problems for the man with depression and in turn alienate and anger those around him.
i don’t know what else to do!
I have met so many men who simply don’t have healthy ways to cope with the stresses in their lives or to deal with the painful memories they carry with them from past encounters such as sexual abuse, bullying, belittling, or other shame-related problems. In many ways the painful and harmful behaviors men engage in are literally their best attempt at coping.
Just knock it off!
When we see others acting in a manner that is harmful to them or disruptive to us we want that behavior to stop and generally we want it to stop right now. However, when a 50 year old man has been using anger, alcohol and a porn addiction to cope with the profound shame he feels, these behaviors often take a ton of effort and time to change. Not necessarily years and years, but to the profound dismay of many, more than a week or two is required!
What to do?
Helping someone change their behavior is tough work and helping someone feel confident and good about themselves might even be tougher work. To begin, many people don’t even acknowledge they have problems nor do they see the destructive view they carry about themselves as “failures”, “being inadequate” or painfully “undeserving of love and happiness.” So we start slow, we encourage, we support, we expect, we teach, we guide, we prompt, and we UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT this change is slow and often filled with challenges along the way.
Face It support groups
One answer is our Face It support groups. In these settings you will meet men who have had similar problems as you and you will meet men who will expect you to get better. At the same time, these men will support, encourage, prompt, push, and care about you. And because we are not bound by insurance limitations and you’re not bound by your ability to pay, we will give you that time you need to make changes!